


Space and Time

by autumnyte



Series: Boss Alair Cabrera [7]
Category: Saints Row
Genre: Angst, Canon LGBTQ Character, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 11:16:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1856056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnyte/pseuds/autumnyte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pierce has been struggling with some insecurities, and Alair has been harboring a painful secret. Set immediately post-SRIV.</p><p>Written as part of a tumblr angst meme in response to a request for Pierce/Alair with the dialogue prompt: "Please I just… really need space right now." </p><p>(Boss <a href="http://autumnyte.tumblr.com/tagged/boss-alair-cabrera">Alair</a> <a href="http://pierceaholic.tumblr.com/tagged/boss-alair-cabrera">Cabrera</a>.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Space and Time

Alair yawned. He realized he'd been tuning out Zinjai's words. There was only so much new information he could absorb in a single day before his brain went into overload, and the adrenaline surge from having taken down Zinyak was beginning to wear off. He was exhausted. 

"Listen, ZJ, I appreciate the info--the endless, _endless_ info--but can we pick this up again tomorrow?" 

"Of course, Excellency." Zinjai bowed and gestured to a large archway off to their right. "I imagine you'll find the Eastern quarters most comfortable. Zinyak's fascination with humankind, and the Saints in particular, extended to the decor there." 

"You mean that area of the palace isn't decked out in all of this gray and red Zin shit?" 

"Precisely." Zinjai's mouth formed into something vaguely resembling a smile. 

Alair pinched the bridge of his nose, then glanced around. "Do you know where my friends went?" 

"Yes, Excellency. You'll find them already in the Eastern quarters, settling in." 

"Great. Thanks." Alair patted Zinjai on the shoulder and began walking down the corridor. Human artwork lined the walls-Alair thought he spotted a Van Gogh-but despite those elements, there was still a distinctly alien vibe to the place. They'd have to give it a Saints makeover. 

At the end of the corridor, Alair encountered the royal bedchamber. It was vast, decadent, and covered in quite a bit of Planet Saints memorabilia. "Fucking Zinyak," he muttered, then immediately flagged down one of the passing Zin servants, instructing them to burn and replace the bedding. 

Surprised that Pierce wasn't already in there settling in, he turned around and walked back into the hallway to look for him. He knocked on five different bedroom doors before he finally found Pierce, who was sitting at the end of a bed, resting his head between his hands. 

"Pierce?" 

"Hey." Pierce lowered his hands but didn't look up. 

Alair frowned. "Any reason you're in here and not the big bedroom? You do know that one's ours now, right?" 

Pierce was staring at his own hands and he still didn't meet Alair's gaze. "I was thinking… maybe I should stay in here, you know?" 

"What? No, I don't know! What the fuck are you talking about?" His heart dropped into his stomach. 

Pierce finally met his gaze, his eyes filled with a sadness Alair had never seen in them before. "Please I just… really need space right now." 

"No." Alair sat down on the bed beside him. Panic was bubbling up in his throat, but he managed to tamp it down. "Request fucking denied." 

Pierce put his head between his hands again. "You really are too much, you know that?" 

"Fine. Then you tell me what I did. Tell me what fucking part of me defeating Zinyak and saving the galaxy pissed you off, and then I'll give you your space." Alair ached to reach out and take Pierce's hand, but he folded his arms across his chest instead. 

"You think I'm pissed off? Nah… nah, it ain't like that." Pierce stood up, his back to Alair. "I'm trying to make this shit easier for you. Now that we have time travel, I figure you're gonna want to go back and save Carlos." 

_Carlos_ . 

"That's what this is about?" It was Alair's turn to put his head between his hands. 

"And listen, I'm totally on board with that. I wanna save him too, alright? Carlos was a sweet kid. Shoulda never been taken out like that." 

Alair glanced up to find that Pierce had turned to face him again, and was staring down into his eyes. 

"And I know that, uh… I know that you…" Pierce's voice dropped to a whisper. "Loved him." 

A tangle of emotions swirled in Alair's chest. "You think I want to travel back in time, save Carlos and then just pick up where he and I left off fifteen years ago? And what? Act like this"-he gestured between them-"isn't a thing?" 

"Don't you?" 

"What if I did? You that ready to just step aside and walk away? Wouldn't even fight to keep me?" The words dropped from his mouth like heavy boulders. 

"Shit, I'd fight like hell if I thought it was a battle I could win. But I know how this goes. I'm used to always being second." Pierce shrugged, sounding more resigned than bitter. 

"You couldn't be more fucking wrong if you tried." Alair pushed himself off the bed and grabbed Pierce's hands, holding them between his own. "Why would you ever think you're my second choice?" 

Pierce stared down at their intertwined hands. "I mean… losing Carlos, I saw how hard that shit hit you. It fucked you up for a long time. I figure you must have loved him a lot." 

"I did love Carlos… not that I ever got a chance to tell him that. Jesus, the poor dude had to twist my fucking arm just to get me to admit he was my boyfriend. He deserved so much better." Alair felt unexpected tears welling up and tried to blink them back. He hated crying. He made it a point never to cry in front of anyone. But this was the first time he'd talked to anyone about Carlos since his death, and he couldn't contain the deluge. 

Pierce reached up and wiped away a tear from Alair's cheek. "Hey… hey. Carlos was happy with you. I remember that real clearly. He had a dopey-ass smile on his face whenever you were around. It seemed like you were doing right by him." 

"There's stuff you don't know about." The air left Alair's lungs, and the corners of his vision started to get blurry. "I… I was the one who killed him." 

Pierce wrapped an arm around Alair's waist, bracing him. "Look, man. That shit with The Brotherhood was not your fault. You couldn't have known that was coming." 

"No… listen. You don't understand." Alair's voice was thin and wavering. "I _shot_ Carlos. I pulled the fucking trigger. He… he was in so much pain when I found him. They fucked up his face so bad. He had broken bones all over. And he looked at me with those fucking puppy eyes, _begging_ to die, and I… wasn't strong enough to refuse him." 

Pierce drew Alair into a tight embrace, holding him silently for several minutes until the tears tapered off. 

"Sorry," Alair mumbled into Pierce's shoulder. "I thought I'd carry that secret with me to hell." 

Pierce kissed his forehead. "Can't believe you've been holding that in for fifteen years. We can talk about the rest later. I didn't mean to-" 

Alair shook his head. "No. We should get it out now." He wiped his eyes with his forearm, smearing eyeliner in the process. "There's no way Carlos and I could ever go back. But even if we could… I wouldn't want to. I'd choose you. I'd choose this. Carlos was amazing. And I loved him. But it wasn't like what you and I have." 

Pierce's mouth was still pursed in concern, but his eyes brightened. "For real?" 

"Yes. _Fuck_. I'm sorry there was ever any doubt." He kissed Pierce softly and briefly on the lips. "I'm in love with you. And you could line up every last motherfucker in the entire history of the human race, and I'd choose you." 

"Me too." Pierce caressed Alair's eyeliner-stained cheek with his thumb. "And now I feel like kind of a dickhead." 

"Hey, you're _my_ dickhead." Alair attempted a faint smile. "Anyway, if we could go back and save Carlos, I'd do it in a heartbeat. And I'd explain that things have changed, but I always want him as a friend." 

"We should do it," Pierce said. "And then we go save Lin, Aisha, Oleg, Viola, Angel, Zimos… all the Saints." 

"I wish we could." Alair sighed deeply. "But we can't. There's no way. Zinjai explained it to me after you left. He used lots of big, scientific words, but he said it's the same reason we can't go back and prevent the Earth from being disintegrated. Apparently, there are lots of universes, but we only have access to this one, even with time travel. It's one timeline and the past can't be changed. Or, like, anything we _could_ have changed in the past did change and is already part of our timeline. If it could happen, it already did." He rubbed his temples. "This shit makes my fucking head hurt. Gonna have ZJ explain it to the others tomorrow." 

"Well, fuck. That… really sucks." After a moment of silence passed between them, Pierce leaned in and kissed both Alair's temples, then pressed a gentle kiss against his lips. "I know you must be beat. How 'bout we go lay down in that huge bedroom?" 

"You're on," Alair said, yawning and taking Pierce's hand. "I feel like I might even sleep for a change." 


End file.
